


Love At First Sight

by attackonmillie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Lemon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:26:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attackonmillie/pseuds/attackonmillie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new member of the corps has feelings for Captain Levi, but simple feelings are more complicated than they seem,</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nerves

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is my first fanfic and i'd appreciate feedback and what not. It's going to be pretty long once finished so I hope you'll bear with me. There will be lemon at some point. There's also a suicide attempt so please if anything like that triggers you don't read this, I don't want to upset anyone. I hope you enjoy this anyway :)

Pulling on your boots you lean back and let out a sigh while a ball of anxiety is bubbling away in the pit of your stomach. It's your first day as a member of the Survey Corps, the elite military force who explore the lands beyond the wall and hope to reclaim it from the Titans. The purpose of the Survey Corps isn't what you were worried about, you've already had a brush with death and you won't be easily rattled by the thought of another. You were worried about the people in the Survey Corps, namely Erwin Smith and especially Levi Ackerman. Both extremely gifted soldiers in separate ways and their talent was what worried you. You were a talented cadet; passing top of your class even above Mikasa Ackerman who was no push-over herself but compared to Levi and Erwin you were pathetic.

You stood up and stretched; "I can always better myself" you thought to yourself as you left your room. "Levi didn't become humanity's strongest fighter in a day, right?" You felt a little more at ease as you thought about all the training to come and how much you'd improve.

You bumped into Jean on the way to meet the rest of the cadets, greeting him with a small smile. Jean had been your best friend for years, he was practically a brother to you. You worried about him a lot as joining the Corps wasn't his choice really. He wasn't a bad fighter but if anything happened to him it'd probably kill you.

"Nervous, huh?" he asked you, his eyes crinkling up as he gave you a big smile. You felt the ball of anxiety in your stomach unravelling, you couldn't help but feel at peace around him.

"Talk about an understatement" you said, your voice lightly shaking. Jean stopped walking and held his arms out gesturing for a hug, you rolled your eyes at him but you complied, placing your head against his chest. He chuckled, "You're our best fighter and you're nervous, how do you think the rest of us feel?" You slid out of the embrace and sighed "You know why I'm nervous, we better get moving. I don't fancy been late on our first day."

You met with the rest of the cadets outside, it was a warm spring day and the warmth eased a little more of your nerves. Mikasa gave a wave of acknowledgment in your direction causing Eren to turn round and throw a big smile at you. Jean wandered over to talk to Armin and you zoned out as you stood on your own.

A stern voice called everyone to attention, snapping your thoughts back to where you were. It was Erwin with Levi learning against the wall behind him. You examined Erwin as he spoke to the group, you could hear the respect he had for us all in his voice and you could feel your admiration growing for him. He'd been in the Corps for years and he knew the dangers. Your anxiety about him started to drain as he continued his speech. You glanced over at Levi and nearly chuckled out loud, he was so small up close. He had stormy grey eyes and you could see he was muscular under his uniform. The next thing you knew your eyes were locked and you looked away awkwardly, he'd just caught you basically ogling at him. You looked back at Erwin and tried to focus on his speech and stop yourself from blushing.

_It's always interesting meeting new cadets. You can tell who are the strong ones and who are the ones who are still naive to what they're about to face just by looking at them. Looking at them all you didn't see anyone who didn't realise what they were going to be doing. After all a Titan was amongst this group so it's hardly surprising they'd be different. Mikasa Ackerman glared at you and you smirked, "Someone's obviously still pissed about what I did to that brat, Eren" you thought to yourself. You sensed someone was watching you and you looked down the lines and spotted her, her eyes darted away once she realised she'd been caught. She was feminine but definitely a strong fighter and she had an air of innocence about her but not to the point of naivety. She was attractive as well. Her cheeks were blushed pink as she focused on what Erwin was talking about. You smirked again. "Well this may be interesting."_


	2. Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this chapter slightly more serious but i've been ill and felt like doing something pretty lighthearted.   
> I also apologise for not publishing this sooner but i've been in bed dying and I have a coursework deadline this week.  
> The next chapter will be a lot longer too.  
> Thanks to everyone who liked the first chapter, it means a lot and I really hope you like this chapter too.

You fell backwards onto your bed, body slightly bouncing off the mattress from the impact. You groaned as pain throbbed through your legs. It’d been a week since you joined the corps and boy was it rough. You’d spent the last 3 days learning how to ride a horse and you’d started off loving horses, I mean your best friend had a face like one but now you cursed their very existence. Pain shot through your thighs reinforcing your feelings towards the damn horses. Even Mikasa had looked uncomfortable after riding so at least you weren’t the only one having trouble. You thought about the good moments from this week too; Jean slipping in horse mess when he was on stable duty, slyly stealing food on kitchen duty with Sasha, seeing Captain Levi with his shirt off. You felt your face warm up as you thought back to that.

Yesterday it had been insanely warm and you were helping out Hanji. You were glad to be inside the cool walls of her lab and you were one of the few cadets who didn’t mind her kookiness. Hanji seemed to have taken a liking to you too.

“Can you run on over to shorty’s office and get a report for me [first name]? He’ll know which one it is” she said to you as she was prodding at something gross in a dish.

As soon as you left her lab you felt like you’d walked into an oven and you decided to hurry up so you could get back to the coolness of the lab. You passed Armin on the way to the office and his face was as red as a tomato. You felt a twinge of guilt that you got to be somewhere cool and your friends had to suffer with this blasted heat. You resolved to ask Hanji if she’d ask one of them to help out next time.

You arrived at his office and your hair was plastered to your head from the sweat. You were getting straight in the shower after you finished your duties. You knocked on the door and a familiar cold voice asked for you to come in. You’d never been in Levi’s office before and the first thing you noticed was the smell, it smelt like lemons. You knew Levi was a tad on the obsessive side about cleaning but this took the cake. The smell was overpowering. Then you noticed him and your jaw almost hit the floor. He was learning back in his chair, his eyes half shut like he was tired or bored and his shirt was undone. Now, you’d seen Jean shirtless before and you’d checked him out but Levi’s body was so far off the scale compared to his. His chest and stomach looked like they’d been carved by an artist. Sweat gave his body a sheen that seemed to accentuate his muscles. You felt your face burning and tried to blab out why you were there “H..Hanji sent me for a report, Sir”. He smirked and opened a drawer and pulled out a pile of papers then handed them to you. You hoped he mistook the redness of your face as a result of the weather.

“Thank you Captain”, you turned round and couldn’t wait to be out of that room but before you could shut the door you heard him say “Cadet, it’s rude to stare”.

You sprinted back to Hanji’s lab wanting to bury your face in sand.

At dinner that night, you felt eyes burning into your back and you turned around and he was starting at you with that smirk still etched on his face.

You giggled to yourself as you lay in bed, thinking about that. It was hardly your fault you were staring, he was the one with his shirt undone. It didn’t help that you idolised him either. A content sigh left your lips as you realised how happy you were in the corps. You fell to sleep, a smile still on your face.


	3. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the italics at the end are from Levi's pov just so nobody is confused considering I used them on two separate occasions.  
> This chapter is a little more serious than the last one so I hope you enjoy it anywhere.

_You woke up to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. You were in a large bed which would of felt comfortable if you knew how you'd got here and why you were here. You sat up and looked around the room you were in and you realised you definitely weren't in the barracks, it was too homely. You could smell something that made your stomach gurgle with hunger. Bacon. You wandered over to the door and pushed your apprehension to the side. Whoever had brought you here hadn’t hurt you so far and you knew you could defend yourself if you had to. Slowly walking down the stairs you came to a large kitchen and a tall boy was cooking and your heart stopped in your chest. You would have recognised that inky hair anywhere. The boy turned around and his freckled face came into view, a grin on his face. "Hey, beautiful. I thought I'd make you breakfast" You were speechless. Marco. How was he here? You'd lost him to the Titans. His smile vanished as he noticed the sadness and confusion on your face. He walked over to you and pulled you against his chest. "You were having nightmares again weren't you? You know I'll never let anything happen to you", He stroked your hair while you inhaled that scent that you had loved. He always smelt like lavender and that smell had always been your comfort through the years of training. Had you really been having nightmares? They were so vivid. Tears started running down your cheeks and Marco continued to comfort you. You hugged him tightly scared he was going to vanish in thin air. You looked up at his face and stroked his cheek, looking at those adorable freckles. He gave you a soft smile and learned in to kiss you. His lips were so soft and you felt a warmth fill you._

Your eyes shot open. Sweat covered your body and your body shook with each breath you took. You could make out your surroundings in the dim light and you were looking up at that familiar ceiling in your room. Tears started pouring from your eyes and a sob caused your body to shake violently. Your chest felt tight as you continued to cry. How cruel your mind was, making you think you'd never lost him. All the pain you'd tried to bury came flooding to the surface, reopening those wounds you had tried so desperately to keep closed. You had loved Marco more than anything and he was taken from you. It was the reason you had joined the Survey Corps in the first place, you wanted to avenge his death and deep down you really didn’t care if your life was in danger by been here. The tears subsided and you let out the occasional sob letting the pain swallow you up until it was the only thing you were aware of. You'd never had nightmares about him, you'd never really cried for him apart from the day he died. You'd cried, screamed and punched the wall until your knuckles were bruised and bloody and then Jean held you while you cried some more. You had promised yourself after that you'd be ok because Marco would never have wanted you to hurt like that and you didn’t want to hurt Jean, so you buried all that pain away and focused on avenging your lover's death.

You vaguely noticed your room getting lighter as the sun rose higher in the sky as the pain slowly subsided. Your body ached like you'd been running laps for hours. You felt the need to shower, as if the water would cleanse you of your night terror. You pulled yourself up and nearly collapsed back onto your bed as another wave of pain rolled across your body. "No" you thought "Marco wouldn’t want me to be weak like this". You focused on getting your things together and headed towards the washroom.

As cold water ran down your body you felt a sense of calm returning to yourself. "I can’t let myself be distracted by dreams, it could get me killed". You closed your eyes as the water washed over your face. You had loved Marco, more than anyone would ever know but you couldn’t cry for him. If you couldn’t avenge his death because you were letting sadness get the better of you there was no point in you been here. Turning the shower off you learned against the cool wall and carried on been lost in your thoughts "I miss you so much Marco and God do I wish that dream had been real but there's things I need to finish off here first before I can face you again". Snapping back to reality you got ready for the day.

Jean noticed that you weren't yourself but he knew better than to push you to talk if you weren't in the mood. You carried out your duties, almost zombie-like as you tried your best not to focus on the night's events.As you were on stable duty with Jean he suddenly hugged you and stroked your hair "[first name], I know something's up but if you don’t want to talk that's fine but you know I'll always be here for you right?". His cheeks were bright red, Jean always struggled with the emotional stuff; you been one of the few people who saw this side of him but his heart was in the right place. You looked at him for awhile and said softly "I love you Jean, you know that right?" He blushed even more and pulled out of the embrace "You're such a dork" ruffling your hair as he said so. You laughed a bit feeling a little more human than you had since yesterday. Jean seemed to have that effect on you. You spent the rest of stable duty messing around, your thoughts rarely drifting back to what you dreamt of last night.

In the mess hall you shovelled down your food so fast that even Sasha looked impressed. You had felt so empty all day and it was extremely satisfying to get a decent meal. You laughed and joked with your friends and your heart felt light. You suddenly felt like someone was staring at you and your head snapped up but nobody was paying any particular attention to you, everyone was occupied with their food or own conversations. "That was weird, I could of sworn.." You broke off the thought before you started worrying yourself and went back to chatting with Sasha and Connie.

_Watching her eat you could tell something wasn't right. Her eyes were red and dark shadows had formed under them, even more noticeable on her pale complexion. The way she ate was as if she had starved herself for a week. She seemed even bubblier than usual as if she was trying to distract herself from something. She tensed and you looked away, sensing that she was going to look up. She frowned as you watched her from the corner of your eye and went back to chatting to the people sat near her. It bothered you that something was so obviously wrong but no one seemed to notice. As a Lance Corporal you cared for all these brats but your feelings for her were so complicated. She was beautiful and the few times you'd shared company with her, her personality had proven to match her looks. You cared that something was wrong and you had to know what it was._


	4. Medicine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm this chapter was kind of rushed and I apologize for that but they'll be some kissing in the next chapter. Oooooo.  
> I

"Death would be a blessing" you grumbled as you jogged next to Sasha. You'd been having nightmares for a week now and the lack of sleep wasn't doing  any wonders to your mood. I t didn't help that it was insanely hot again. You didn't know whether Sasha had heard you or she was just voicing what was  usually on her mind but Sasha piped up and said "I bet we get a huge lunch after we do these laps  ".

By huge lunch you mean you're going to hover like a vulture and steal other peoples food you thought, you liked Sasha but her happy attitude was kinda pissing you off right now. Your thoughts turned to the fact that you will look horrendous once you've finished these laps and it would just so happen to be Levi overseeing this. You had a small crush on him  and it wasn't exactly the best time to be getting all mushy over some guy. He also had a habit of reminding you of when your brain almost fell out after see ing him shirtless.

Once you finished running you learned against  a  wall and tried to  calm  your  heavy breathing.

"Cadet [f/n]" that cold voice startling you slightly

"Yes, Sir" you made a half-assed attempt at a salute but your body couldn't be bothered

"You were slower than usual and you look like crap. Problem?"

Oh great, just what I wanted to hear "Uh I guess I've been having trouble sleeping 'cause of the heat, sorry sir"

"Tch, go see shitty glasses. I don't want you passing out on me"

You weren’t sure if it was due to the tiredness but you could of sworn you heard traces of concern in the captain's usual stern voice.

"Poo" Hanji's childish  demeanour  was another thing you couldn't be bothered with today.

"[f/n] we're friends right?"

"Uh yeah" you fiddled with your hair. Sure, You were friends with Hanji   but you just wanted to get out of there and go shower.

"Well I know that you're telling porkies about why you haven t been sleeping. Come on, you can talk to me" She grabbed your hands, smiling slightly too much for your liking but something in her face made you want to tell her.

You poured out everything about your nightmares and Marco, tears falling down your cheeks making you look even more of a mess than you did before. You felt Hanji's arms wrap around you as she tried to make shushing noises as if comforting a small child.

Why did I tell her all that? you wondered to yourself as you tried to stop the flow of tears.

Some pills  tucked safetly away in your pocket, you wandered into the mess hall and looked for Jean. He wasn't there so frowning  to yourself you sat with Mikasa. She was quiet and you really needed someone quiet right now. She gave a nod of ackowledgment as you sat opposite her but didn't say a word. You began eating your meal, pondering over what Hanji had told you. After you'd had a cry she'd handed you some pills. They wouldn't stop the nightmares but they'd help you sleep. She said she'd get you  some tea to help with the nightmares but there wasn't much she could do about them. 

A hand on your shoulder snapped you back to reality and you looked up to those icy eyes.

"Captain Levi, do you need something? "

"Did you go see shitty glasses?" He took his hand away from your shoulder which you were grateful for. 

"Yes Sir"

"Well I hope to o  see some improvement tomorrow"

He walked away and you were sure you'd heard that same concern you thought you heard earlier.

Swallowing two pills you got into bed and tried to relax. You thought about the times you and Jean had spent running around Trost together as kids to get rid of the apprehension. Your eyes felt heavy and you moved down the bed slightly getting as comfy as possible. Sleep came quickly. T he next minute you were screaming and arms reached out to hold you. Jean's face came into view with a look that hurt you.

_** Why the fuck is Jean in my room ? ** _

Jean held you, that pained look still on his face. You pulled away from him after a few minutes. A sense of calm returning as you breathed in his scent.

"Jean, why are you in my room? Were you watching me sleep?" anger lightly laced your  voice. You didn't want him seeing you like this.

"I.. uh.. Hanji came and got me when I was eating and told me about your nightmares because she knows we're close and she didn't know if those pills would work and well I.. I was worried about you so I came to see if you were ok and I heard you screaming so I ran in" He rubbed the back of his head, face bright red. Even when he was so concerned Jean still was awkward with expressing how he felt.

You calmed down a little. You were grateful he was here to be honest. You always felt safe near him and you were a little annoyed with Hanji for telling him but at least you weren't crippled with pain like you usually were after waking up.

"[f/n] Can I stay with you tonight?"

You looked at him, to see whether he was joking and all you could see was concern.

"It might help I suppose, but if you try anything funny I'll kick your ass"

That shit-eating grin appeared on his face "Tch, please. We all know I'm the better one at hand to hand combat"

You giggled "Jean, I think you'll recall we met because you were getting your ass kicked by some kid and I had to rescue you"

"We were  6  yea rs old, will you shut up about that?"

Jean held you. It was a bit weird but pretty relaxing too. Maybe you would feel ok with your dork of a best-friend in your bed. You closed your eyes, welcoming the dark ness .

_ Jean Kirstein was a brat who pissed you off. Sure he was a good so l d i er but he was cocky and he always had a shit-eating grin stuck on his face. Except when he was with her. [First Name]. _

_ Shitty Glasses had laughed when you asked her about [f/n]. _

_ "Now now Shorty, if she won't tell you then it's not my place to tell you" _

_ So you had to drag Jean to your office to get answers. _

_ The brat tried to refuse at first until yo u explained that [f/n] could be in danger during training if she's exhausted so he told you everything. He looked pissed off the entire time. His protectivity of her made a twinge of jealousy run through you. But you were also grateful he looked after her. Nightmares about a lover dying. That pissed you off. Not because she'd had a lover but because you couldn't protect her from it. You had feeling for her you knew that much but this made it harder for you to confess to them. You wanted to keep her safe and make her happy and you had no idea how.  _


	5. Blueberries

_She sat across from you, her beautiful [e/c] eyes even more prominent against the dark circles underneath them. You had to resist the urge to get up and hold her against your chest, run your fingers through that beautiful [h/c] hair. You were a man who didn't show many emotions. You'd lost enough but this girl, this beautiful angel made it hard for you to hide them. You had to hide your smile every time she got excited after doing well in training. You knew she was in pain though and it hurt you. There were so many things you wanted to do to comfort her but you didn't even know if she was aware of how you felt about her._

 

You nervously fiddled with your jacket as Levi gazed at you intently.

"[f/n], I want you to join my squad"

You sat there with your mouth open probably looking more ridiculous that you thought you did. What? Yeah, you were talented but Levi's squad was made up of the best. "I..uh.. it'd be an honour Sir"

A small smile appeared on his face. Your cheeks felt warm, he was adorable when he smiled.

"Well seeing as though you're in my squad, I need to know something"

_**'Shit. Please tell me he doesn't know Jean has been staying in my room'** _

"Why are you having nightmares?"

_She stared at the floor as she bit her bottom lip. Damn, that's adorable. You knew perfectly well why she was having nightmares but you wanted to hear it from her mouth, in her own words. It also gave you an excuse to comfort her without scaring her off. You didn't exactly have a reputation for being an easy guy to talk too._

"Well I lost someone who I cared about a lot in Trost and I never really grieved for him so I think that's why"

You didn't really want to tell him this but his eyes were soft, something you'd never seen from him before.

"I know it's dumb because I knew what I was getting into when I joined the military. I lost my dad when I was young to the Titans but it feels so much harder now"

You felt the cheeks getting wet. You'd never told anyone about your dad apart from Marco and Jean had grown up with you so he knew.

"I just feel like I should be able to stop them but I can't. I should have been able to protect him but I couldn't. I feel so guilty because I should have stayed with him on that day"

You needed to shut up. The next thing you'd be telling him was that you felt guilty because you liked him and you felt you were betraying Marco.

The next thing you knew his arms were around you, his head resting on top of yours. Any other time you'd have been burning up but you really didn't care, you needed a hug right now.

'He smells like lavender. Like Marco.' Instead of bringing on more tears the smell calmed you.

_You couldn't bear to watch her cry so you held her. At this point you didn't care if she was freaked out or not, you'd be damned if you just sat there and watched her like this. You were actually expecting a slap, you'd seen her take down that guy, Reiner for touching her without her permission. You could feel her breathing settling. 'I guess I made a good move'._

You pulled away from Levi. Your brain was starting to drift into the 'holy crap, hot guy is hugging me' zone.

"Uhm, thanks Sir. I really needed that" You threw him a small smile.

His face was so much softer than usual. He took a few steps back and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Listen [f/n], I'm not exactly great with the sentimental crap so I'll only say this once. When I joined the military I joined with two people who I cared about more than anything. They were taken from me and I honestly blamed myself. In short, I know how you feel but you have to stop blaming yourself. You'll get yourself killed and I don't want that, I doubt this guy would have wanted that for you either. If you want someone to blame, blame the titans"

He looked so awkward telling you all this. He reminded you of Jean in that way.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks sir"

"Just call me Levi"

"Well thanks Levi"

"Anyway [l/n] get your ass back to stable duty"

_You didn't even know if your words meant anything to her but she had looked more like old self as she left. You'd probably go check on her tonight. Her smell still lingered on your shirt and you grinned to yourself. She smelt like blueberries._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it seems like the relationship is going too fast.  
> I was planning on putting the first kiss in this chapter but I feel like it's too soon -.-  
> Anyway the next chapter is going to be a little more upbeat and i'll probably have it up soon :3  
> Hope you enjoy as always


	6. Injuries Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so i'm really sorry that this has taken a while for me to post. I've been extremely ill and i've had a lot going on at college. I've also made some changes to the story as I was feeling very uninspired with the whole nightmare thing but I quite like what i've written so far so i'm sorry if some things just sort of vanish from the plot but I just feel better about what i'm currently writing without that line of plot.
> 
> I want you guys to have my tumblr so you can get in touch if you want to request anything or give me a nudge about updates. My url is queen-jalhalla and just leave a message in my ask box.
> 
> I appreciate how much you guys are enjoying this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it even with the changes I am making.

 

Using the 3DMG was one of your favourite parts of been a soldier. Sure,  it was dangerous as hell to use but the feeling you got when you were flying through the trees was unexplainable . You just seemed to forget all your problems, even when you were in Trost and you were surrounded by death you still felt carefree. 

As usual Eren and Jean were trying to outdo each other and wanted to race. You honesty found their silly little rivalry adorable. It was something that would constantly bring a smile to your face. 

You had a similar rivalry with Mikasa in all honesty. Neither of you was petty about it, you both appreciated each other's talent and it was just something you enjoyed doing.

You grinned to yourself as you flew into the trees until  Mikasa  flew past you, her black hair streaming behind her.

"Oh no you don't" you thought to yourself hurling yourself forward.

Something whipped against your face  and you let out a low growl as you felt a warm stinging sensation grow beneath your right eye.

You could see Mikasa just ahead of you and you shot out a hook towards a branch but then you heard a loud crack.

The branch gave way and you shot downwards straight into a tree trunk, air was forced from your lungs as you felt your ribs bend inwards. The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth as you plummeted towards the ground. The blood spurted out onto your lips as you hit the ground, spots dancing across your vision. You could hear your heart drumming and all you could feel was pain.

"[f/n]" a voice screamed, you couldn't even tell who it was.

_ Is this where I die? From making a careless mistake.  _

Faces appeared in your blurred vision. You were sure one of them was Jean freaking the hell out, and maybe Eren too. It was too much effort to stay focused however and you just let the pain consume you.

"Shit" you groaned, eyes squinting against the bright morning light.

You groaned again, the dull pain throbbing all over your body.

"Hey you ass, you're finally awake" 

Only Jean would call you an ass after waking up in a hospital bed

"You're making a habit of watching me sleep aren't you" You tried to grin at your friend but it came out as more as a grimace

"Ugh, I liked it better when you were unconscious" Jean smiled back at you, you knew he didn't mean that.

"What even happened? I remember falling and then I just blacked out" You attempted to grab a glass of water but your aching body made that extremely difficult.

" Mikasa had weakened the branch you fell from when she passed through, because you were going so fast your hooks just went straight through. There's nothing you could have done really" Jean helped you grab the glass of water.

You drank quickly, water dribbling down your chin, wiping your chin with the back of your hand you sighed "Shit, I hope Mikasa doesn't blame herself. I was trying to catch up to her"

"I really am a bad influence, making our sweet innocent [f/n] have rivalries" Jean winked with that shit eating grin stuck on his face.

"Oh shut up, at least I'm not in love with Jaeger"

"You are so dead when you get out of hospital"

"Was your romance a secret then?"

"SHUT UP"

You burst into a fit of giggles as Jean pouted. You were in pain but you felt better than you had in a long time. Maybe getting injured had made you appreciate what you had. 

"Anyway you ass, I have to go eat but I'll come back soon. Do you want me to bring anyone?"

"Uh just whoever wants to see me but I could use some Sasha and Connie comic relief"

At that Jean carefully pulled you into a soft embrace "Please don't leave me" he whispered into your ear.

"I'll be more careful ok, you better not leave me either Horseface "

As you were pulling out of the embrace you heard that familiar  cold voice "Cadet [l/n}, nice to see you're awake, Cadet Kirschstein  you're dismissed"

Levi looked like he was ready to murder you . 

_ I wish I was still unconscious to be honest _

As Jean left Levi continued to glare at you

"Well Sir, you could have at least brought me some flowers" Why did you say that? Do you actually have a death wish ?

Levi moved so fast you were sure you were still half unconscious, his arms gently wrapped around your torso and his face was pressed into your hair

"Sir, what.."

"Just shut up brat" he growled into your hair, still holding you

_ Well at least I'm not dead yet  _


	7. Injuries Pt 2

You didn't know how long you and Levi were like that, his face pressed into your hair and his arms around your torso. It started to get a little awkward but you didn't dare tell him that, an eternal hug was preferable to whatever punishment he had in store for you been an idiot. After what seemed like forever he slowly pulled away and you got a good look at his face. Dark patches were circled underneath his eyes and his lips were chapped. He looked awful.

"Gosh, Levi you almost look as bad as what I probably look like" If he was going to kill you at least you could be cheerful in your last minutes on this planet.

Surprisingly a small smirk flashed across his face and he let out a soft sigh.

"You nearly die and you still act like... this" he waved his arm towards you while rubbing his neck with the other hand.

He went and sat in the chair next to your bed, his stormy grey eyes never leaving yours. The storm in them seemed to be calm today.

There was silence for a few minutes and then he said something so quietly that you almost didn't hear him

"Did you want to die?"

You sat there, your mouth agape. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Surely he knew it was an accident. You were pretty sure Jean and Mikasa had filled him in on the details.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. Why would I want to die?"

He had a strange look on his face and you couldn't quite place it. Because Levi was usually so stoic it was quite bizarre when he showed an emotion. Was it anger? Confusion? Or...pain?

"You told me about a boy who died.. who you'd care about" Levi seemed to be struggling to get his words out and you felt uncomfortable that whatever he was thinking or feeling was giving him such difficulty.

"and you haven't been sleeping and I thought that you might have tried to kill yourself because of that" he fell into silence, staring at the floor.

You fidgeted with the blanket, trying to work through the mess of thoughts in your head.

_Do I really come off as been suicidal? I thought I was handling all of that rather well. I mean I haven't exactly felt bad about in a while because of Levi. He always seems to cheer me up and he might be an ass the majority of the time but I care about him and it helps so much. I've had a crush on him for awhile and maybe it's something more now, maybe that's why I don't hurt as much._

"Levi, honestly it was an accident. Jean will even back me up on that and I think Eren saw too. You can even ask Mikasa herself about our little rivalry. I know I was really upset but it's not something i'd take my own life over. I don't think i'd ever feel like that. I have friends who give a shit about me and it'd be selfish to do something like that when we've all been through so much crap together. Levi you've helped me deal with that loss a lot and i'd like to thank you for that"

He looked into your eyes, searching for any lies hidden there but he found nothing.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

He let out a long sigh, obviously relieved with the news that you weren't going to end up launching yourself into any trees on purpose.

His usual smirk appeared back on his face after a few moments.

"You look like shit you know"

"Oh shut it you midget" You were probably going to pay for that

Then he did the most surprising thing, he laughed. He chased Hanji round for almost an hour with a broom after she mentioned his height and he was laughing at what you just said.

 

 

_Damn I love her_

 


	8. Afraid

You leaned heavily against your crutches as you watched everyone prepare for the expedition. Commander Erwin had ordered you to stay put and recover and as much as you hated the thought of your friends been out there without you, you had to agree that you'd probably be more of a hindrance than a help.

You felt sick and you'd hardly slept these past few nights. Jean was in a group with Reiner and Armin, all great soldiers with strengths in different areas but you couldn't quite shake the feeling something bad was going to happen. Maybe it's because you were with Connie when you found Armin after Eren was eaten, the blonde wasn't exactly cut out to be a soldier. 

Everyone was quiet as they prepared, even the usually loud Ymir was helping her beloved Krista in silence. It was like someone had already died and you knew people were going to die. You knew the statistics of expedition survival. As a child you've seen the Scout Regiment return, horror and sadness imprinted on their faces after another failed expedition.   
  
Jean avoided looking in your direction, you hated when he was like this. Right now you needed the cocky, annoying boy who was your best friend to brag about how many Titans he was going to take down. Armin wandered over to you, offering a small smile

"[f/n], I'll keep an eye on Jean. I know he gets hotheaded sometimes"

You pulled Armin into a hug, hurting your ribs and causing the blonde to squeak in surprise and blush a bright cherry red.

"Keep an eye on yourself Armin. If you have to get out of there, you get out of there. Don't put yourself in unnecessary danger ok " You weren't one to get panicky but the idea of sitting on your ass while they were outside the walls was getting to you.

You let Armin out of the hug, a pink blush still apparent on his face.

"I'll try my best" a vague hint of confidence in his voice

"HEY [F/N], ARE YOU DECLARING YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR ARMIN OR WHAT?"

Reiner's shout made a few people jump, breaking through the uncomfortable atmosphere 

You stuck your tongue out at the big blonde

"Shut up you ass, why don't you go declare your undying love for Krista"

Giggles came from the direction of Sasha and Connie as Ymir glared at Reiner

"Reiner if you come anywhere near my Krista, I 'll shove your head up your own ass"

Sasha burst out laughing and smacked Connie on the back causing him to tumble to the ground. Even Mikasa was smiling slightly.

Then Jean spoke up, that usual shit eating grin stuck on his face

"Hey now, we all know Reiner wants Bertolt" 

At this Reiner started chasing Jean round the courtyard while Ymir's laugh startled some of the horses. You giggled watching the people you loved the most messing around, thoughts drifting through your head

_ If some of these guys don't come back, at least this will be how I remember them. They're my family. They can fight and they're so strong. We've been through Hell together but this is how I'll remember them. Laughing their asses off and goofing around. _

You watched everyone depart waving at everyone and promising Sasha you'd give her extra food when she got back. You shouted good luck at your squad, telling them to look after Eren and themselves. Levi ran his fingers through your hair as he passed on his horse, avoiding your eyes.

After everyone was out of sight, tears spilled from your [e/c] orbs. 

They were all strong but you were  afraid . So terribly afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the lack of LevixReader cuteness in this chapter. The next chapter is going to be sad but they'll be a kiss oooo
> 
> Also, feel free to bug me on Tumblr if you want to make a request for a fic or just to ask me when i'm going to update  
> http://levi-ackerman-protection-squad.tumblr.com/


	9. Stay With Me

Waiting for everyone to return was hell. You struggled around HQ, trying to walk just to take your mind off things but your injuries made things difficult.

"Damn it" you muttered to yourself as you leaned against the wall for support as a dull pain throbbed through your chest, from your injuries and from what you were thinking.

All the time thoughts of who would come back dead swirled through your head followed by a sense of guilt, guilt because you were too injured to be out there helping.

What if Jean got in trouble out there? Sasha? Levi? You felt nauseous at the thought of losing anyone like you lost Marco, look what that had done to you. Your wounds from his death had only just been stitched up. Could you handle it if you lost anyone else? Were you cut out to be a soldier?

"Stop this right now" you growled to yourself. Everyone had made it this far, they were strong and you sure as hell were strong. They'd make it back alive, you had faith in them.

 

At that you heard the sound of horses and carts outside and you hobbled as fast as you could, heart beating fast against your ribs. You knew the look on everyone's face when you got outside, you knew that look from Trost. Something had gone horribly wrong. Panic rose and with wide eyes you stared at the people who were returning. With sweaty palms you grasped your crutches and limped forward, desperate to find the people you cared about. You spotted Jean, half carrying Armin who was covered in blood. You dropped your crutches and ran towards him, ignoring the pain that erupted around your body.

"Jean.." You half sobbed his name. His eyes met yours and he offered you half a smile.

"Before you ask i'm fine, everyone is fine"

"Jean do you really expect me to believe that when poor Armin here is covered in blood and bandages?"

Armin shot you a shaky smile before answering you "I'm ok [f/n], it's not half as bad as it looks. Wounds to the head just bleed a lot, i'll be alright once I go to the infirmary and get cleaned up" Armin always was one to try and disregarded his troubles for the sake of everyone else. At this point you felt relief washing over you knowing everyone was ok.

"Armin before you go, is Eren ok? I know he was supposed to be with Levi's squad and..." You broke off at the look Jean and Armin passed between each other

"Eren's fine [f/n] but i'd go find Levi if I were you"

Oh God no..

"He's not.."

"No no no he's alive but his squad..." Armin trailed off as what he was saying sunk in. You felt sick. His squad was dead? You hadn't know them long but they'd done so much to make you feel welcome. Petra had been so happy to have another girl in the squad and now she was gone. You'd never got to fight alongside her. But what if you had have been out there? Would you be dead too?

You wandered back over to your crutches and set about looking for Levi, you needed to see that he was alive for yourself. With a sense of determination you rushed (as fast as you could with crutches) towards his office, if he wasn't there you'd search the entire HQ from top to bottom just so you could make sure he was alright. You felt your breath catch as you knocked on his office door and a cold voice replied "What the hell is it? I told you brats not to disturb me"

"It's [f/n] sir.."

Silence was all that answered you for a few minutes before a slightly softer voice responded for to enter.

Levi was stood looking at of the window as you entered, a cup of tea in his hands.

"Sir, I heard what happened and i'm so sorry for intruding like this but I just came to see if you were ok and if you need anything i'll be more than happy to get it for you" You started to babble, the relief that he wasn't physically hurt setting in.

You turned and stared at you for a moment 

"Anything I need?"

"Yes Sir"

He placed his cup onto his desk before approaching you and stopping extremely close to you, you felt heat rise on your cheeks as your heartbeat picked up. 

"Well there is one thing I need"

At that he pulled you forward and placed his lips onto yours. He was gentle like he was waiting for you to give him a signal to go further. You kissed back trying to convey the relief you felt at him been ok. His fingers wrapped into your [h/l] hair and he grazed his teeth across your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. You parted your lips and his tongue entered your mouth, it felt strange at first but it started to feel quite nice once you got used to the new, strange sensation. He pulled away slowly, stormy grey eyes locked with your [e/c] ones, his cheeks a faint shade of pink.

"I have an order for you cadet" His voice was soft and there was a hint of something there, happiness maybe?

"Yes sir?" 

"Stay with me tonight?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys so I finally finish college for the summer next week so i'll have way more time to update this and whatnot and I also want to take requests for fics so feel free to message me on tumblr: levi-ackerman-protection-squad.tumblr.com :)  
> Thanks for all the support, it really means a lot


	10. Stay With Me: Pt 2

"What the hell am I doing?" was the one thought that constantly swirled around your head as you lay in bed.

Not your bed though, Levi's bed.

It wasn't that you disliked sleeping next to him wearing one of his shirts and some of his underwear, it's just that you couldn't deal with what inevitably would face you in the morning. Rejection. Surely Levi only wanted you here because he'd lost his squad..his friends? Why else would he express any "romantic" interest in you? You had to admit that you had feelings for the man that was currently fast asleep with one arm wrapped loosely around your waist but those feelings terrified you. Way back when you had fallen for Marco you'd been a naive child, sure you knew the dangers that faced you both but you had been blind in the face of love as cliche as it sounds. What hurt is that you questioned every slight bit of interest Levi had shown you so far. Yes, he was far more open with his emotions around you but you had been a broken girl when you'd first met. Was it just pity and you were desperately clinging to it as love? 

You hated this. You were a strong person but this stupid feeling kept ripping you apart like a child's doll. Why did you fall for people when this world was so cruel? It was only inevitable for you to lose anyone that you clung to but you couldn't help it. You'd always been the one to fight for people, to jump headfirst into anything and you'd never cared much about your own safety if it meant protecting the people you cared about; but right now you wanted to be protected, to be loved, to be cherished.

Warm tears rolled slowly down your face. Why were you crying? Were you really that pathetic? You didn't cry over the horrors that faced you beyond the walls but you'd cry over something this stupid.

A thumb wiped away a tear that was making it's way down your cheek and your eyes met with that pair of stormy grey orbs that you'd come to know so well. Was that concern in them? Or was it pity?

"If you didn't want to stay with me you should have said something" As much as he tried to keep his voice to that usual blank tone he used with the other soldiers he couldn't stop the hurt dripping through.

"Levi..it's not that...i'm just overthinking some things" you mumbled awkwardly, knowing full well he'd want to know what you were thinking about 

Levi propped himself up on one elbow, eyes scanning your face for a few seconds searching for signs of anymore incoming tears and nodding ever so slightly when he seemed satisfied

"Enlighten me"

You let out a shaky sigh, trying to push your muddle of thoughts into some kind of order and tell him what you were thinking without sounding like an angsty child

"I just feel like...you only want me here so you don't have to deal with been alone and that's totally ok given the situation but i'd have liked to have known that from the start because I kind of have feelings for you, at least I think I do i'm just very confused about how I feel in general and.."

Your babbling was cut off by his lips against yours, this kiss wasn't as intense as before but it still conveyed the same feelings. He slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours"

"Tch. I had you pinned as the intelligent type. Seems Kirstein is rubbing off on you"

Your eyes widened slightly not really knowing what to say

" **I like you too** "

Your face broke into the most unflattering grin but right now you really didn't care

"You've fascinated me from the start and i'm worried that Hanji has been filling that head of yours with crap about me but you wouldn't be in my bed right now if I didn't like you"

You bit your bottom lip trying to control that stupid grin that was threatening to become permanently plastered on your face

"Sooooo how much do you like me?"

Levi pulled away with a look on his face that simply read "Are you serious?"

"I like you a lot you brat"

He gently pulled you flush against his body, arm wrapped loosely around you

"I like you a lot too...shorty"

"Tch"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously appreciate all the support you guys are giving me so thank you.
> 
> From now on I'm going to be working on quite a few fics because I don't have college from now until September and i'll have a lot of free time so this fic will be getting update way more annnnnnnnnd because i'm currently making a cosplay for Marco i'm in the mood to write a fic about him so I was thinking about doing a prequel to this if anyone is interested in that :)


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